Certain things had been agreed in advance, including hard limits, what I was to wear, etc. We had also agreed that I was not to speak unless directly asked a question and would follow his instructions to the letter, anyway...I was home, had gotten changed and was nervously waiting and pacing when the doorbell rang - I jumped straight out of my skin and for a moment thought of not answering, however, I did go downstairs and opened the door. There stood the gentleman I had been corresponding with. .. I don't know how he feels and I don't want to rock the boat."I looked at my beautiful self-confident sister. I was puzzled. But love seems to make us all insecure and vulnerable and I was far from being in a position to give advice."I'm sure he'll come around, but if you need me to give him a push, just let me know!"This elicited a smile and a hug.A few days later Allison surprised me. I was out at the end of our driveway near the county road stretching getting ready for my early morning run. Just a whole lot stiffer than ever before as I hadn’t bothered to put him into the stasis box where he would have been if I caught him alive. Instead I had exposed the compartment to space and kept it air free. No need for Mr. Renow to stink up my cargo hold. You’ll learn that bioforms of all kind, especially the carbon-based type starts to decompose after they’ve been dead for a little. Plastic tarp or not, you need a lot of Scrub-a-deck to get rid of that smell. Coming from a place that is. It made everything look pristine and like a coherent whole, covering the shambles of my life. White is the colour of silence.Red is the colour of pain. Arriving at Heathrow half an hour late, confused and jet-lagged, scanning the crowd for you and Steven, but you had not been there. Our then manager Pete, six feet tall, a bear of a man, hugging me with an upset expression on his face in unbearable silence. Then telling me that you both had vanished from my life, in an instant, in a moment of.
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